“Police Release Haircut-Progressed Photo Of Missing Woman”
Source: the ONION
Recently,
a middle aged woman has gone missing around the Sycamore area in Texas. The
Sycamore Police Department has been consistently searching, even though eight
months have passed since people have last seen her. No results have been made,
but that is not stopping the Police Department from searching for her. In order
to get the people of Sycamore, Texas involved in searching for Kelly Mance
also, the department has released a photo of how Kelly Mance would look about
eight months later. “We ask for the public’s help in circulating this image,
which has been adjusted to show what we believe Ms. Mance’s haircut may look
like today” said department member Jacob Frederickson to a reporter (“Police
Release Haircut-Progressed Photo Of Missing Woman”). Since eight months of
searching by the Police Department had no results, they hope that the people
will help search for Kelly Mance. The Police have guessed how she would look
like eight months later, due to previous experiences. “Given her personal
style, previous cuts, and current trends, we’ve been able to estimate how Ms.
Mance would most likely have altered her look to keep her hairstyle cute and up
to date” (“Police Release Haircut-Progressed Photo Of Missing Woman”). The
police are only afraid about one thing. If by any chance, Kelly Mance got
highlights, the whole picture would be ruined.
The
satirical part of this blog comes towards the end. The blog is made humorous
when the department states that their whole plan of releasing this photo could
go wrong, if Kelly gets highlights. They are exaggerating by saying that one
small change to a hair style would ruin their whole plan.
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